When I went home a few weeks ago, I had a chat with my friend Jay about his life as a single parent. Jay is 26 and has a 2 year old son. Unlike the mother from Aimee’s interview, Jay has always been the primary caretaker of his son Brendon. Brendon’s mother has been continuously wrapped up in drugs and in and out of jail since before his birth. I asked Jay if he feels judgment or stereotyped for being a single parent. He told me most people are supportive of him, but he has encountered people who think they know what is best for Brendon without knowing the entire situation. People assume Brendon, “should be with his mother”, but obviously this is completely out of the question. He mentioned also how hard it is to still be fairly young, but have this huge responsibility.
Jay’s appearance also comes into play a lot when people see him with Brendon. Jay is constantly sporting a studded leather jacket and he used to be known around town as, “that guy with the mohawk and the baby”. Jay explained, “People look at me and assume I don’t know how to take care of my kid, but what they don’t realize is that I do take complete care of Brendon on my own 24 hours a day, 7 days a week , and I have done that since he was born”
Jay struggles financially to support his small family, as he is currently unemployed and receives some government aid, but no child support. This is something Jay spoke passionately about. He said that government aid for single parents is a “catch 22”. He could go out and get a job, but this could worsen his financial situation. He can only work part-time at minimum wage if he wishes to keep getting his funding. This is especially difficult because Jay already has the full-time job of being a father. So it would seem that getting a job would cause greater financial strain as well as cut out a lot of his time with his son. In the long run, he feels being with Brendon is more important.
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